101 Uses for Reno's EMR
by QueenAlla
Summary: The title says it all-and yeah, I was bored. Part 4 up.
1. Part 1

Because I was bored. And yes, this is very random. Oh, and if this is of any interest to you, and you would like to contribute to this list, just let me know and I'll add it.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Back Scratcher (well, it feels good!)

Prodder (New and Improved-It tickles!)

Child Abuser (fun, fun, fun!!!)

Fairy Wand (feed your inner child. Now.)

Twirling Baton (for Reno's dancing lessons)

Cat Torturer (nah, they like it...)

Pole (for Reno's pole dancing lessons)

Exterminator (electrify the rats-mwahahaha!)

Threatening Rod (scare away the kiddies)

Grandpa's Old Cane (you whippersnappers stay away from the wrath of ol' gramps!)

Make Believe Microphone (for Reno's singing lessons)

Tribal Staff of Fury (*_sings random hymn_*)

Artificial Spine (sounds like a Hojo thing)

Nervous Breakdown Stick (just gnaw your worries away)

Piece of Wood (just for fun, throw it to the beavers dam!)

EMR (duh)

Gil on a Stick (show off your latest tricks)

Vibrator (with Reno, who knows...)

Free Gil (you've got nothing to lose, but something to gain)

Summoning Staff (for all those times you just wish you were Yuna)

Neverending Lipstick Tube (a woman's dream)

Rod of Destruction (give this to Sephy and its like giving a cat a ball of wool)

Staff of Specialness (well, it SOUNDS special)

Anger Management Resource (one bash and your troubles are gone!)

Fake Lightsaber (use the force, -enter name here-, use the force)


	2. Part 2

Yes, this is Part 2. Just as random as the last one. Hopefully just as good (If the last one _was_ good, that is...) Oh, and all credit for the 'Throwing Stick' goes to Ritsu-San. Thanks for that, by the way.

Anyways, enjoy!

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Shocky (if you've watched Flushed Away, you'll know what I mean. SHOCKY!!!)

Throwing Stick (Red XIII seems to like this)

Random Pole (use your imagination)

Super Long PHS (the latest craze in Midgar! Well...they will be one day...maybe.)

Overly Gigantic Pen in Disguise (see the resemblance?)

Child's Toy (according to scientific research in Hojo's Lab, kids like the jolt)

Balancing Rod (can YOU balance it on your nose? I can XD)

Metal Pole (it is what it is)

Missing Part (the rumours say many things as to where this once belonged...)

Arm/Leg Extender (feeling short?)

Cooking Utensil of some sort (handy in the kitchen)

Pogo Stick (add a spring...and a second bar...and voila! You've got a cheapo version of a pogo stick!)

Personal Storm Creator (this is what it feels like to be god...ZAP!!!! Ahaha this is fun!!!)

Hiking Stick (keep climbin' that mountain!)

Materia Holder (things that can hold materia are rare. VERY rare.)

Greg's Magic Wand (somehow, the Wiggles managed to sneak their way into Midgar)

Compass (don't ask how this works. Just, don't.)

Magic Compass of Truth (the new and upgraded version of the Compass. It's shiny.)

Probe (hmm...hehehehehehe...)

Roll Out Matress (clueless? Then roll it out!)

Telescope (now, no one has to know that you perv on that randomer next door!)

6 in 1 Weapon (a sword, dagger, gun, rod, mace, and axe all in one!)

Computer Programmer (to 'fix' the computer in a responsible, adult like way, you have to hit it _just _right)

Cosplay Item (um, yeah...he, uh, cosplays as himself...hmm...gonna have to fix up this one.)

Head Whacker (total honesty, we could all replay that 'Reno hits Rude' scene non stop...)


	3. Part 3

Part 3, finally. I feel like I'm slowly being drained of ideas...Anyone, help!?!?

Anyways, hope ya enjoy this! Credit for Fishing Rod and Long-Range Stealing Tool goes to Aeriths-Rain. Thanks!

______________________________________________________________________________

Fishing Rod (add a hook, and your all set!)

EMR Guitar (hey, it might not work, but at least it rhymes!!)

Curling Iron (for super long, super curly curls)

Straw (I'll get back to ya on this one...)

Vacuum Cleaner (for all those nooks and crannies-ngh, I'm turning into grandma)

Torch (who needs user friendly when you've got _this_?)

Harry Potter's Wand of the Future (...1000 years later...still waiting...)

Wake Up Call (install into your mattress, set the alarm time, and wait for the jolt)

Flute (drill some holes, carve it hollow, and...Stuff this!)

Materia Lure (assuming the M in EMR stands for magnetic)

Vehicle Jumpstart (with_ that_ much electricity, you may as well put it to good use)

Beer Flask (well, how else could Reno have made it through those long missions?)

Grabby Stick (can't reach the beer can in the fridge?)

Safe (not the safest safe, but the most inconspicuous)

Tent Pole of the Amazonians (look closely...*runs to the hills*)

Taser (an EMR but with a cooler name)

Fly Zapper (aim and zap-swatting is a thing of the past)

Hair Intensifier (ever wondered how Reno's hair got so spiky? Static Electricity, baby!)

Butt Slapper (Reno's favourite pastime-not sure about the girls, though)

Long-Range Stealing Tool (great for stealing Tseng's car keys!)

Tag ('Laney wanna play?)

Cheap Excuse for a Weapon (honestly, can't Shinra even afford a sword???)

Red XIII's Bone (its metal, but hey, surely an experiment like him can withstand it!)

The Devil's Cane (it fell-no wait, _rose_, from the depths of hell and into the trusty hands of...Reno (the devil's son))

Chocobo Catcher (beware-it may aggravate it to the extent where it will attack)


	4. Part 4

The final random part 4 to my short-lived series, '101 Uses for Reno's EMR'. Mind sending me a review to tell me which use out of all four chapters was your favourite?

Ah yes, and the credit for 'Craptastic Hunter's Horn' goes to...*drumroll*...Raptorsrevenge !

Hope you enjoy Part 4! :D

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Happy Stick (just holding it gives you a warm fuzzy feeling inside)

Portable Battery (just pray it doesn't run out-this is the cheapo version)

Lighter (can't find the damned matches again?)

Yaoi Summoner (of which makes all of Reno's wildest dreams come true)

Choose-Your-Own-Dream-Machine (the title says it all)

Teacher's Rod (Reno? Teach? Maybe not...)

Blind Man's Stick (he never stole it off an innocent old guy...no, never...)

Ecstatic Stick (so...much...fuzzy...feeling...about to...explode...)

Third Leg (I wonder where that belongs)

Monkey Bar (so _that's_ why all those kids from the park were being rushed to hospital!)

Inflatable Tent (the latest in Turk technology)

Bringer of Peace (bow down to the great EMR!)

Chocobo Whip (it's not really a whip, but it makes the chocobo run like hell-never lost a race)

New and Improved Microphone (it might be new, but it doesnt run well in the shower. Yes Reno, I'm looking at you.)

Vendor Trash (it might have 101 uses, but really, it's all just a load of junk)

R18 Rated Toy (no use trying to hide it, Reno. We all know your dirty little secret...)

G Rated Toy in Disguise (...that you have TWO dirty little secrets!!! Mwahahahaha!!!)

Craptastic Hunter's Horn (it's craptastic!)

Trophy of Honour (Reno did a lot to deserve this...*cough cough*)

Shocky VIII (the last Shocky died of a shocking death)

Last Remnant (of what, we are still uncertain...)

Staff of a Thousand Curses (this damned piece of crap has been stupidly plagued with this retarded curse...damn)

Hockey Stick (no one can tell the difference)

Disco Bal-I mean, Rod (it flashes!)

Master Plug of Midgar (who unplugged this!? Reno, you stupid idiot!)

And the final, 101st use is...

UNABLE TO BE REVEALED!!! You can blame Reno for unplugging the Master Plug of Midgar. Now the whole city has been completely blown up. In fact, I'm quite uncertain as to how this message is being sent to you. Oh well. I'll figure it out eventually...In the meantime...

Goodbye and farewell! Thankyou for choosing QueenAlla FanFiction!


End file.
